FEMA uses Waffle House to measure the severity of natural disasters.
If Waffle House is serving a full menu, it means little to no damage. If they’re serving a limited menu, it means low food supply and power. If Waffle House is closed, then you know it’s bad.
So whatever problem you may have, as long as Waffle House is open, it’s not the end of the world.
Introducing “Grits Happens,” Waffle House’s breakfast-themed version, to remind you that most problems aren’t world-ending as long as your local WafHo is still open.
Important market research in Sewanee, Tennessee 🧇🥓☕
CW & AD & STRAT: YOURS TRULY
Shit Happens is an adult card game where players try to guess the “misery index” of different shitty situations.
Some people think the world ends when the Stock Market drops into the red.
But as long as the FEMA Waffle House Index is green, the earth will continue to spin.
Introducing the “Code Red Menu,” which offers a discount of one cent for every point the Stock Market drops.
Your stocks might not survive, but these waffles sure as hell will.
